Sometimes Giving Up or Letting Go is All You Need!
- Vicent Nemeyimana
- April 14, 2017
- Motivation and Inspiration
I think some of you guys got puzzled by the title of this article, but also a big number of you must be familiar with the concept!
Well, like many other inspirational writers and speakers, I have always asked YOU to be courageous and not give up on your initiations and projects or even on life, and yet I am daring enough to appear with almost a contradicting point today!
Sorry about that, but let’s face it.
Face what? The fact; giving up may at times be the wisest and most brave decision you can ever make!
Listen, even though a big chunk of people out here are living lesser than they were meant for on reasons of giving up and easily letting go, a big number of other friends are still hustling because they are too weak to give up or let go.
The other day I was chatting with a friend of mine who has been in a hurtful relationship for more than 4 years. As she narrates her story, you can easily read in her words that she is scared of being without this terrible man; she cannot imagine beginning again from scratch!
So many of us are stuck in jobs, relationships, pasts, and so many kinds of living that we totally don’t like and yet we are equally afraid of letting go.
See; it is easy to look at this issue from highest perspective and yet it could equally be traumatizing us even at our lowest dealings of daily life!
What do I mean?
A few days ago, I went into my box and picked up my ‘dead’ phones again. For God’s sake, these phones (3 of them) had died about 1-3 years ago but I held onto them for I never wanted to lose them.
I would take them for repair, bring them back and immediately would die off again at least within 2 days following repair. And then I would do repair again!
But there is this one evening!
I GOT STRESSED OVER PHONES!
Yes, literally none of the 3 was functioning. I got them out of the box and again started working on them myself. Oh! This time it was in vain; I could not resurrect any of them. I got angry, stressed and generally disappointed.
But wait! An idea struck, yes, a great idea!
Which one?
Throw away the phones once and for all, I angrily thought to myself. Without thinking over it, I announced the mission to Winnie (my wife).
Guess her reply;
“Yeah, throw them away actually. They have disturbed you a lot and the fact is they are dead. And you know w
hat Vicent! They have really served you enough”
hat Vicent! They have really served you enough”
What!
I think she had thought about that idea even before though she had never suggested it, probably because she understands me as a man who usually never gives up especially when it comes to IT or technology issues; I usually solve the puzzle at the end!
But this one! I had failed completely.
What happened next?
I gathered the courage, the strength and wisdom to stand up on my two legs and take out the phones to the bin (not the usual dustbin). And yes I did it!
What followed is inconceivable; power, calmness, settling, relief, and generally happy that I no longer have such irritating phones around.
Yes and when I did that, I quickly acquired a new and greater phone; no, I got a tablet this time!
THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS!
We spend all our entire lives looking at closed doors and fail to realize the new open doors of relief and restoration!
Is that the only application of this thought? Waaah, there is more;
In the book of Jeremiah Chapter 27, there is a helpful story in relation to our thought today.
During the siege times of Jerusalem by Babylon, God advised King Zedekiah and other nations to give up on war and let go of their egos and humble themselves under the yoke of King Nebuchadnezzar so they could be left alive and in their nations.
Did King Zedekiah Listen? He did not.
He thought strength could be shown through fighting back. Together with his friends, they revolted against King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon and lost to his mighty army in the process. Zedekiah was later captured, his eyes plucked out, his sons killed and was paraded to Babylon in chains (Read Jeremiah 27:10, 12, and then Jeremiah 39:6-7)
For God’s sake, giving up or letting go is not always a sign of failure, defeat, and weakness, but can at times be an illustration of strength, power, and development.
When we give up on hurtful situations or those we think are sucking us for no results, we simply shift our resources (time, wisdom, power, and life) to things that mean a lot better to our lives and the people we care about.
What is the point today?
It is possible that you are stuck in a hurtful relationship for years and maybe you think that letting go will imply that you are weak, a failure, or even a loser, but I wanna tell you that there is more life ahead than you can imagine!
It is possible to be stuck in a job that is life sucking for the fear that there is no better way, but I want to encourage you that it is possible to get a better one.
Of course, there is a wise way of changing jobs; I highlighted about this in my article, Never Throw Away Your Skin Cloth at The Sight of An Antelope! check it out.
Of course, there is a wise way of changing jobs; I highlighted about this in my article, Never Throw Away Your Skin Cloth at The Sight of An Antelope! check it out.
Just like with the old phones, you could be stuck with old things and stressful life yet a single courageous stride out of that would open new opportunities and freshness in YOUR life.
Yes, when people give up on jobs, projects, relationships, plans and goals, it may not necessarily mean they have failed; they could actually be progressing.
What am I saying?
Logically, I am saying that giving up or letting go of something or someone could be YOUR PROGRESS!
Quiet interesting, hahaha
There are various reasons or situations in which giving up or letting go may illustrate power rather than weakness, success rather than failure, growth rather than retardation and getting better and better. Some of these situations are;
1. When the situation or the person is hurting you continuously
Listen, this is not the usual experience where friends or people in a relationship annoy and hurt each other occasionally; I am talking of devilish relationships where one partner is simply a prisoner and has never tasted happiness and freedom.
There are so many relationships of this kind out here; could be marriage, a business partnership, a spiritual kind of arrangement or whatever. By the way, whatever does not serve YOUR happiness and life abundance, never subscribe to it.
There are so many relationships of this kind out here; could be marriage, a business partnership, a spiritual kind of arrangement or whatever. By the way, whatever does not serve YOUR happiness and life abundance, never subscribe to it.
I know this is a hard proposition, but you can enlarge on this thought by reading these other articles too; Action-reward philosophy, Loving Someone That Does Not Love You: Love never ends!, the goodness that will screw your life 1 And 2, and so much more.
In times of such relationships, you are simply weak and a failure if you remain stuck in there! (we will soon share an article on how to unsubscribe from a hurtful kind of relationship or partnership)
In times of such relationships, you are simply weak and a failure if you remain stuck in there! (we will soon share an article on how to unsubscribe from a hurtful kind of relationship or partnership)
2. When the project or situation is beyond YOU!
There is when I wrote a small article about how to tell that it is time to let go of a project, but one of the tips was; when you cannot take it anymore! (I know this is still confusing and that is why I promise to come back to it in another detailed article soon)
Generally, whenever we take on a project or a goal, we measure our progress with our objectives, time, and resources. Sometimes, we run businesses, projects or kinds of jobs for years and we are just hustling through while not progressing at all.
Yes, I have talked to so many people stuck with unproductive businesses, risky jobs, and dangerous careers but they cannot find enough courage to change. They will simply say; I am used, this is my life!
Yes, I have talked to so many people stuck with unproductive businesses, risky jobs, and dangerous careers but they cannot find enough courage to change. They will simply say; I am used, this is my life!
Yes, if something is seriously beyond you and unachievable, you strength is in giving up on it in time and focus on more productive and achievable plans or at least re-structure yourself again and take on it again from different angle with a different strategy and resources.
Back to our story of Zedekiah, I think this all he needed to do. Yes, giving up would not mean he was weak but would mean he was a wise King who humbled himself for the best of his people. And maybe following some reforms and kind of mighty strength, he would later revolt; Leaders know how to apply this well (pretending to be weak while strengthening yourself behind scenes).
I wrote about this strategy too highlighting how to rise above your enemies, we shall have to pull out this article.
Also, read the biblical lesson out of Jeremiah chapter 27
3. When there are better things to do or go for
While the above two entirely need us to exercise great faith in believing that greater life and future awaits us, some of us fail to let go of our past and weak possessions even when the better options are already visible!
Ah Vicent! No, this can’t be, you say!
It can be, I repeat.
You see, sometimes we are presented with choices and for some reasons we decide to leave the better ones for the worse. Yes, this is a complicated philosophical, psychological, spiritual and social issue that I may not broaden just now, but it is possible to happen.
Sometimes we think we don’t deserve the better options; sometimes we think such options are Too Good To Be True; sometimes we think people will laugh at us or make some comments when we decide to let go of the cheap options and grab the higher life we were meant for!
There are thousands of reasons we always fall for short glory. I always quote C. S Lewis; “our sin is not desire, but weak desires”. From Adam and Eve’s times in Eden up to today, our sin is not in choosing the higher life, deeper and everlasting desires, greater happiness and pleasure beyond measure, but our choosing to live a mediocre kind of life!
We leave our beautiful and hard working women and sleep with smelly, drug-addicted prostitutes; we forego healthy and cheap foods and spend heavily on delicate and dangerous foods; we break up with helpful and constructive friends and exchange them with lousy and aimless thugs or gangs as our new friends; we give up on God, the creator who asks for nothing and spend money, time and hurtful sacrifices worshipping gods, witchcraft and idols! WEAKNESS; that is our sin!
Read the article; the true man’s desire
And so much more!
But big questions resound;
HOW DO YOU LET GO?
HOW DO YOU GIVE UP?
These questions are much deeper even more than the part we have just covered. We need to know the helpful and strategic ways to give up or let go of a hurtful relationship, a non-profit business, a weaker desire for a greater one, a stinky job for a more glorifying one and so much more!
By the way, in our earlier articles, we had highlighted something to do with How to overcome an addiction or a terrible habit! Check that out too.
About the above other questions, I promise they are on our agenda.
So what do you do for now?
A. Understand that it is okay to let go or give up on a project or a person or a business and still do fine or even get better.
B. It takes strength, courage, faith and great self esteem to let go; letting go is not for the weak but for the strong and courageous people like you
C. There is a time for everything; when time to give up or let go knocks, just realize that and obey! How do you know the time is knocking? We will come back to this, but YOUR heart shall likely convince you that you can’t handle anymore without losing a part of yourself.
E. Our God is God of second chances, many more opportunities and restoration. As long as you live, your chances are still available. In other words, you are not at your last trial; it is the beginning!
Lastly, Your HAPPINESS is your guide. When something, someone or some kind of living no longer gives you that inner kind of fulfillment and peace, then you have nothing to hold on for. God asks you to love YOURSELF and doing otherwise is a sin!
But HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF BEST?
But HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF BEST?
God bless you
NB: I am aware this article is heavy and complex in thoughts but I promise I have written enough materials to help you on every thought and I am still writing so much more to build on this. Meanwhile, explore our hub of knowledge and wisdom at www.miklahlife.com
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God be with you.
