When Did Love & Relationships Become Last Resorts After Everything Else?

Almost all ‘successful’ (mark the quotes) people here shall tell you to postpone marriage until you are set up, until you are done with other programs. I mean, it’s easy for anyone classified as ‘successful’ outside here to comfort a single young woman or man by saying that it’s okay to be single. Some go ahead and even suggest that it’s even better to drop a relationship if it is giving you hard times especially in your endeavors concerning education and businesses, concerning your BIG DREAM. Is she or it (the relationship) disturbing your progress in class, business, or impeding your ambition to become a politician? Well, drop her, terminate the relationship, the advice goes!

I mean, why the message can’t change from ‘man/woman, it is okay to be single. Chase after your dreams. When you are successful, women or men shall come around’ to ‘oh dear, you really have to make it work. Please, take care of your relationships and restrain from taking your dating for granted. It’s time, date, be serious, move on, chase after love, fall into it, and focus on your marriage’?

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When did marriage (or relationships) become the second option after everything else is settled? Why is it easy for people to give others the advice of waiting to be serious with their relationships or even quit dating and first pursue education and businesses and other endeavors as if relationships and marriage don’t aren’t part of the dream, the success?

Of course, I am not saying and asking us to take marriage for granted by entering into it while unprepared but I know you understand what I am talking about; I am talking about the general attitude of seeing dating, marriage, and all love relationships as by-the-ways, as second-hand options! 

I know it’s relevant for us to take time and prepare well and enough for marriage but I want you to know that also those businesses, fame, and higher academic achievements sometimes won’t make meaning if you don’t have meaningful relationship or family (and don’t confuse this with belonging to your father and mother’s family; I am talking of your own), I mean marriage.

Sometimes you can chase after the so-called success only to discover later that it wasn’t worth the efforts. Listen, just as many sacrifice relationships for money, politics, businesses, and all forms of achievements, can’t we sacrifice everything else just for relationships, for our dating, for our love life, for our marriages, for our families?

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All I am saying is we don’t have to think and look at marriage and family as by-the-way issues in life but as priorities and precious institutions meant to enlighten our lives and give us meaning and purpose. Family and relationships is one way of fulfilling our life purpose as willed by God. In some cases, we should sign out on all other achievements and assignments just to pursue marriage and family.

For example, it’s even possible (I mean, it should be possible) to give up on a business idea, an education career, or even a new job opportunity just for the sake of your marriage and not necessarily the other way around! (Or even for the sake of your girlfriend! Of course, most of us think less of girlfriends and boyfriends and that’s a mistake; anyway, it all depends on what we understand and mean by girlfriend or boyfriend. I will come back to this).

Lately (because I am increasingly becoming a sacred entrepreneur), I have been listening to young entrepreneurs speak and, seriously, it is displeasing and distressing how these young men and women seem to be biased and less concerned with the value of marriage and family in what they call success! They only want to hear of money, profits, and businesses, and any questions outside these seem irrelevant.

NB: It reminds me of this entrepreneur who was asked for help (advice) in situations when business-related stresses start even affecting family, relationships, and marriage life and he (the entrepreneur) rebutted: I don’t have a girlfriend and thus don’t have an emotional package for you! What a mean way to reply!

Of course, there is no problem with this answer or even having no girlfriend or having no emotional package, but I wish you were there to see the nature the answer was thrown into the desperate woman’s face and ears! (It kind of nailed her onto the cross for considering saving or nurturing relationships and marriage alongside business).

I mean, we can still be entrepreneurs and at the same time giving value to family, relationships, and marriage. Of course, I am not asking entrepreneurs to marry; I am simply asking for respect and clear picture of the value of marriage and family and relationships (not business-related relationships) in humans’ lives, both the rich and poor alike.

So, my brother and my sister, in case your mentor didn’t tell you this, allow me say it to you; your time could be going.

I know they tell you it’s okay to be single and chase your dreams and that you still have time, but someday you will look back and discover you have no time, have taken for granted your friends and love relationships, and even the money and books you are chasing or chased after don’t or didn’t make sense. And thus I am saying that, yes, it’s also okay to actually start dating, start being serious with that friend you have been taking for granted, giving no time or ears. Take dating, love relationships, marriage, and family serious! Begin now!

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Start taking care of the relationship you have been taking for granted. Hold onto dating, love, marriage, and family even more than you hold onto to money and businesses and education and all those things people call success! Chase after marriage and family; it’s worth your efforts as well!

And by the way, have you ever thought of the word “success”? Seriously, it has less, if not nothing, to do with money, businesses, and academic papers!

God bless you