Life Has Never Been About You, Not Even Your Life Choices! (3 Benefits)

For long, you have been fed on this message, life is about our Life choices; when we make good choices, we experience good life and the reverse happens when we make horrible and careless choices! Well, I am here to tell you this: It is all a lie! You have never been in control of your life, not even with your good choices! This is because life and all that happens in it, good or bad, isn’t about you, but God!

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Life Choices & Bible and Theology

In John 9, Jesus and His disciples meet a man that had been blind since birth. Disciples ask Jesus: Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answers: Neither of them sinned! It just happened so that God’s glory can be shown!

In John 11, Lazarus, whom Jesus loved very much is sick. Instead of going for his rescue, Jesus lingers around for two days until the guy died. This verse is perplexing: ‘Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was’ (John 11:5-6). Can you imagine this? When He heard of the bad news about the guy he loved most, He actually delayed for more two days! Why? So that God’s glory can shine out (verse 4).

It is the same story with Job! The guy had not done anything wrong (Actually, he prayed and sacrificed for the Lord a lot to take care of the children’s sins-in case they had sinned)! However, bad things still happened. Apparently, God and Satan were having personal conflicts and Job was just the fighting ground! All for what? God’s glory.

READ THIS TOO: Should a woman pursue a guy?

These three stories say it all: It has never been about us, about you, but HIMSELF. The creation of the world, the salvation story, the sinning of man, the coming of evil or devil, the daily injustices and sufferings. Love, success, failure, murders, humanity, caring, betraying, all things, evil and good aren’t about us, but HIMSELF!

You see, in all the above 3 stories, God’s glory is revealed when He actually heals the blind man, restores Job to much more wealth, and resurrects Lazarus from the dead! Well, how about those who suffer unspeakable life misfortunes until death? Where is God’s glory? And yet the Bible still insists; it is is for God’s glory.

It seems He finds Glory even in the most terrible things on the planet, for example, in seeing sinners in hell or innocent children aborted or a beautiful family burning in a building or a wedding couple dying on their wedding day! It also seems He finds Glory not only when we praise Him but even when we curse Him or even when we do neither!

It seems He didn’t create us out of deficiency or desperate need for glory from us; He can still be glorified without us. For surely, there is no praise or thanks-giving from us when we are in shit. For example, sinners cannot praise Him in hell. And yet the mere fact that they are in hell is glorious to Him!

“For my name’s sake I defer my anger; for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you, that I may not cut you off. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another” (Isaiah 48:9,11).

“For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Romans 14:7-8)

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

But wait! What if you don’t believe in God nor the Bible? What else do we have to convince you that life isn’t about you, not even your good life choices? Welcome to philosophy, science, and everyday life experiences!

Life Choices and Philosophy and Greek Mythology

In philosophy, there is a concept called ‘determinism’. Under this concept, it is proposed that all life choices that we make are influenced and therefore not entirely under our control. The influence may be known to us (conscious) or not (unconscious or semi-conscious) but it is there. These influences include hard truths like your birth place, parents, age, sex, the choice to be alive, and your genetic make-up!

What if there is an eternal intelligence who designed you the way you are for His purpose? What choice in life do you have control over? The tea you took without sugar in the morning? Do you think you weren’t influenced?

In Greek Mythology, a story is told of Oedipus, whose birth was foretold that he would kill his father and marry off his own mother! When he was born, the parents took him in a forest and left him there, hoping he would die from there. Apparently, a certain family picked up the kid and looked after him.

Oedipus grew up. When he later learnt about the story and he wasn’t sure if it would be his biological or step parents to fall for his claws, Oedipus wanted to make this even more impossible. He made a plan to flee the village and the step parents or family to a far away place.

On his long journey, Oedipus met an unknown man who for some reasons he had to fight with. Oedipus killed the man. Later alone, Oedipus married off the widow or the wife of the man he had killed, only to realize later in life that the unknown man he killed was his father and the widow he took in for himself was or is his mother. Oedipus couldn’t escape fate. The lesson from the story is that you can’t escape fate.

You are who you are supposed to be, where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to do, for the one who created you!- VICENT NEMEYIMANA

A psychological study by Richard M. and Edward L. (2000) revealed that people hate the idea of not having control over their lives and future for two reasons: 1. It is kind of embarrassing and human ego-shattering to believe that someone else is in control of our lives; 2. People want good consequences out of the choices they make, especially good choices. Having control means one can really control the outcome. The idea of having no control shatters this hope. And people don’t like it!

However, I ask: What if we can shatter this false hope and build a stronger one based on truth? Read on!

Life Choices and Hard Life

Yesterday, as I walked home, I noticed a teenage mother (maybe of 12, 13 or 14) years with a 2-year old baby girl on the busy streets of Wandegeya. The child was sleepy and wanting a hold of a mother to sleep. Sadly, the angry and tired mother couldn’t give the weak baby any break or rest.

She angrily put the baby down, pulled her by the arm and off they paved their way through the busy traffic. I stood for about 2 minutes, empathizing and wondering about such suffering! And as I walked home, I had so many questions. And tears were rolling down my face. I kept pondering:

Why would God create someone only to suffer? What on earth had the young child of 2 years done to be born to a teenage street mother who is helpless and tired of life? Why the suffering for the teenage mother? Why her? I kept asking these questions until something hit straight within my heart:

It is never about anyone, not the struggling mother and the kid, but God and His will. I almost committed a sin of ‘pretending to be more caring and considerate than God’ until I realized that the obligation of God isn’t to make anyone’s life pleasant but to see His glory shine!

In Max Lucado‘s book, it’s not about me, a story is told about Nicolaus Copernicus, the catholic clergyman who discovered that it isn’t the sun that revolves around the earth but the earth revolves around the sun. It isn’t about us (the earth) but God (the sun).

It is said that the discoveries of Copernicus were disabling to his days’ scientific circles to the extent, for fear of persecution or execution, he couldn’t publish his work until shortly before his death (read here and here for more).

It is said that even those who published his work had to hide their identities for fear of persecution; he had broken a long-held belief and ego among all men, especially the Catholic church and scientists, that everything revolved around us. Today, I am shattering down all the hopes you had built on the false message of free will and life choices and building a new and even stronger one on real truth!

The 3 Benefits of embracing the message that ‘Life isn’t about us, not even our Life choices’

1. When we fail, we don’t beat ourselves to death! People who think that they can self determine their tomorrow or life face each day with anxieties, feelings of failure and depression, especially when things don’t work out! But when we embrace the truth that we are never in perfect control of our choices, consequences, and life, then we approach each day with confidence, doing all we can and embracing all that we face. When we fail, we redo or just move on! Read this from James Clear:

The pursuit of success isn’t bad as long as we always remember that the outcome isn’t under our control – James Clear

2. When we win, we praise God, not self! If you don’t believe in God, call it karma or luck or nature or whatever! The truth is when good things or success happens, it isn’t necessarily because we worked hard, are wisest or most knowledgeable, but simply because God has graciously chosen to work through our choices to bring us any good! So, when we win, we praise him and not self. This checks your ego and pride and builds your humility, a virtue that is good for true growth and success.

3. When terrible things happen, we don’t blame or curse God, but thank Him. Of course, for Christians, the advise has always been this: In all circumstances, praise God! (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20). And this is because in good and bad circumstances, God’s purpose or Glory, which is the greatest good, is being accomplished! Therefore, roughly, we are like saying that irrespective of what is happening, something collectively GOOD is happening. And thus we thank God!

That is it!

NB: I am not saying we shouldn’t make good choices or responsibly live to our choices. All I am saying is that sometimes things will happen outside our expectations. When that happens, this truth will set you free. Even when things happen to our expectations, this truth keeps our pride in check and encourages us to always look out for God’s greater good, even in circumstances that we ourselves aren’t happy with.