Scholarly Evidence (non-biblical) Highlighting the Relevance of Physical Beauty in Relationships!

In their 2009 study on what influenced romantic attraction, Luo and Zhang (2009) reported this: “The strongest predictor of attraction for both sexes was partners’ physical attractiveness”. In other words, before getting attracted, physical beauty comes first, whether you know it or don’t! After all, romance or sexual satisfaction is one grand factor and reason for marriage (Tiffany Montgomery, 2020 and Islam S., 1992), even in the Bible (Proverbs 5:18-19)! And physical beauty is part of sex!

Leslie Margolin and Lynn White, in their 1987 paper, the continuing role of physical attractiveness in marriage, found out that physical attractiveness determined important areas of marriage such as sexual interest, happiness in sexual relationship, and, to some extent, faithfulness patterns, especially among men! There are hundreds or maybe thousands many more studies (for example, this one, this one, and this one) that attest to this truth; physical beauty or attractiveness is an important factor during mate selection for dating and or marriage! As a matter of fact, Pelliroux et al. (2011) discovered that physical attractiveness and socio-economic stability were the two topmost priorities when deciding on a mate worldwide!

Even if physical beauty wasn’t to be a priority on anyone’s checklist, I argue, it is at least the number one thing that first invites us to explore the rest of what we call core values or inner beauty of the person we are interested in. Without charming physical attractiveness, we have already lost the opportunity or ‘first time impression’ to be able to present out the rest of who we are!

READ THIS TOO: What makes a woman beautiful or a man handsome?

And this is true, not for gentiles alone, but also for Christians! At least Christian author (authored ‘Not Yet Married‘) and editor at Desiring God, Marshall Segal, agrees that it is ridiculous to go in for someone who you aren’t attracted to. Get it directory from his lips (or hands):

“Given the common assumptions and practices in our society today, including the church, I do not believe a man (or woman) should begin a dating relationship with someone to whom they are not physically attracted. If he admires other things about her, I’m all for him befriending her and getting to know her in safe, unambiguous, non-flirtatious ways (probably in groups). But I believe physical attraction, at least in the vast majority of cases, is one critical piece in discerning whether to date or marry someone.”

Wanna see more? In my E-book please!

Apparently, the emphasis on physical attractiveness is higher among men than it is among women (Sarir et al., 2018). Talking about men having much more interest in physical beauty of the women they choose than women in men they choose, we can easily see it from dating apps! When we deeply explore social media apps that are dedicated to dating and relationships, women like to show off their bodily beauties, implying their knowledge and awareness of what men really want! On the other hand, a deep exploration of a man’s profile will likely reveal his achievements and, of course, caring! This doesn’t mean that women don’t consider physical attractiveness of men during dating; it simply says that, on average, men are more likely to emphasize physical beauty than women!

Apparently, women, when under the influence of parental investment theory, a theory that insists that the sex that invests more in its offspring will be more selective when choosing a mate, can be affected by framing effect, an irrational decision-making impulse or bias that tends to pull us towards positively connoted options, and highly consider physical beauty for the benefit of their offspring. In other words, while men may consider physical beauty for pleasure, women might do for that and even more; their offspring. In other words, when a woman meets a handsome man, the question she is wondering about is, what is it like to have a baby boy or girl with this cute guy? Surprisingly, some research shows that women are like this only when in follicular phase of their menstrual cycle and not in luteal or taking contraceptives, the times they can’t be pregnant (Glassenberg et al., 2010)!

Bottom-line: It doesn’t matter the motivation, both men and women are quickly and immediately influenced by physical beauty or attractiveness when deciding on dating and or marriage partners.