Nobody can understand exactlty what you feel, only God can. Trust me on this.

You see, there are some special lessons you will never understand unless you are experiencing them yourselves. There are those life situations that each one of us passes through and there is no way of explaining the same situation to someone else. My old brother Julius told me, “Everyone has got a situation he is unable to explain to his close people, wife, friend, or even your pastor but only you and God knows well what it is all about”. I believe him. Many people, councilors, your pastor or friend or even your wife can tell you that he or she knows and understands how you feel inside, but the truth is no one understands you and what you are going through. We try to imagine the pain a patient is feeling but we never perceive it exactly like the patient himself. People who have experienced what you are going through now may still not perceive it all since people react differently to even similar situations. No one understands deeply what you are going through but God

We have all heard this saying, “Do not judge people until you walk into their shoes” but i challenge you that even after walking in their shoes, you have no right to judge them. Why? Their reaction and perception of that similar pain is totally different from yours. Dear friends, life is full of miscellaneous lessons. I have read a lot, tried to find knowledge and wisdom but so many situations leave me confused and not sure of my next step. I have tried to master what to do and how to behave in some known situations but every time i am in such situations, I wonder if they are the ones I read about or heard about. Finally, i have come to accept that life is just adventure and full of surprises.

Listen, a priest must not be a good adviser in matters related to marriage and relationships for truly he preaches what he studied, read or heard but not what he did or faced. Actually, a doctor is not the right perfect councilor for a patient, he has never suffered the situation and if he had, his experience was different. Unmarried man should speak little or nothing at all about married ones; he does not know what happens. Actually, the very hard topic that you may never understand till you are in it is Love relationships. We give tips how to find a good woman, we teach our children how to behave with boys and girls, we counsel patients how to live with their sickness effectively, we counsel couples how to handle marriage (what to do as a man or married) but all this is just trying, the true lesson lies with you.

What is my point today? It is not that you should never judge people till you are on their shoes, it is that you should never judge anyone till death. Secondly, no one understands your pain or journey as yourself; respect what you feel more than what your wife, pastor, parents or counselor feels. Third, do not be rigid. We have read in books, heard from people how situations A,B,C, D etc should be handled but do not be surprised when you do not find any one of our tips helpful when you are in the situation, just handle it your way and how you feel you can succeed.

Finally, there is one true companion in all our mysterious journeys that is God. When your wife cannot understand it all or even help you, when your mother cannot hear you or even see your pain, when your pastor cannot allow you convince him of your confusion and ends up casting you out of the church as a sinner, when you no longer understand what is happening despite all you had read, experienced or heard, that dangerous time, know that God lives in you, around you and knows you more than you know yourself. Turn to him wherever you will be, and whatever person you will have become and talk to Him with honesty. Cry if its what you can, shout at Him, accuse him if it is all that will be in your heart, praise him if you can, just honestly talk to Him how you feel and you will find an answer or consolation beyond what we give. This writing is out of my heart and that is what makes me go on: That God is my companion more than any one on earth.

The Complete You Project. Good day friends.

Vicent Nemeyimana

Vicent is a nurse and public health professional, a sustainability entrepreneur, and the CEO & Founder of Miklah Life, a center dedicated to sustainability-focused training, research, and innovation. He is an award-winning entrepreneur, a Mandela Washington Fellow, an author, a health sciences lecturer, and an active participant in various UN sustainability policy processes