The Story of Our Love (Part 1): How It All Happened!
- Vicent Nemeyimana
- October 14, 2019
- Uncategorized
Introduction
When I first met Winnie Nemeyimana, she was and is still this stylish lady with a killing smile, figure, knowledge, and, yeah, classic outlook. To be honest, I didn’t have much of the above; all I had was a heart, an open heart. On our first formal chat, we sat each across the table and talked life, school, music, God, love, friendship, everything; we had hooked up! It seems we both didn’t start with anything but love, open friendship.
Now, listen to this, I and Winnie never knew we would be in romantic love, never! Actually, she and I remained friends for about 2 years while sharing almost everything. I knew her relationships and she knew mine. I knew her friends and she knew mine. We cried on each other’s laps, held each other’s hands in storm, and shared the few things, which things? Food, pen, books, cups and plates and forks, and all things schoolish! But we never knew we would be in love.
However, one evening, after a long chat, I from nowhere hugged her good-bye and something ran within my veins, my blood, my mind, my head, my eyes, and it screamed ‘she is the one, the one for you’! And you know what! She had felt it too, she later confessed! On that evening, we both managed to pretend we weren’t in love and moved on! However, fortunately, this pretense didn’t last long!
In the days that followed, our friendship got some sourness, some unusual inconsistencies, some internal conflicts were radiating out and causing us problems, unclear problems! Love was fighting within. We both knew that something had changed but didn’t have strength or confidence to confess it. Besides, we both had ‘self pre-determined’ arrangements and, considering what crazy arrangements each had on his plate, we weren’t for love, not I and Winnie! We weren’t ready, at least not for each other!
But it was time for love and we couldn’t push it away no matter how hard we tried. We fought against it for weeks, maybe a month or two until we couldn’t fight it anymore. Love was too powerful to be overcome.
One evening, we met to talk about it. For starters, our usual meeting place was the DH (dinning room). Even our first real discussion or chat happened in DH. This time, we didn’t sit where we sat when we first met; we sat in another corner of the DH, where Sr. Jane, Moreen, Evans and maybe Mercellitta used to sit.
The DH was quiet, lonely, and so wide. The sun was setting, and you could see its rays struggling through the window and through some few ‘Catholic Maria’ or Mary photo flames on the wall as it hit lovingly, with no heat but warmth on the table, the table that I and Winnie sat on.
Surprisingly, this time we didn’t sit each on either side of the table as we had done on the first day of real chat, but both sat on one side, facing the wall that had some photo flames of Jesus and Mary and maybe Joseph with our backs against the hollow and empty DH. Some fellow students were playing netball and volleyball outside, you could see them past the small window opening where our DH TV screen was hanging. And few other students were also chatting, just outside the DH, somewhere around warden’s office.
On that evening, our goal was to settle the small inconsistencies, conflicts and annoyances that were stinging us and settle back into our friendship as had been for the past two years. Here is the surprise!
We had no conflicts, no inconsistencies, no annoyances, no nothing! We had just upgraded our friendship to love (or romance) relationship and we weren’t accepting it. Note here that I have not said that we weren’t ready, no, we were not accepting it or believing it! As we navigated through our ‘non-existent’ conflicts, love pulled us together even more than before. We knew it; we were losing the fight or resistance to something certainly powerful than us both and we, if we were to survive and live ever happily, had to give in and let love drown us. So we did! We got drowned, in love!
I opened up to her and let her know about my feelings and she confessed the same, saying that she had felt it even before and, just like me, had restrained to say anything lest she murdered our friendship. She was wrong! We had both felt it and our efforts to avoid it had not saved our friendship but was murdering it! We were in love. I had found a woman. She had found a man. We had found each other.
Listen, let nobody ever deceive you that he or she knows how it feels unless he or she went through it. That evening was the best of my life, our lives. We felt like the heavy cloud that was over our lives and souls had just dropped down. We felt like we were in heaven. We felt like we could fly, cry, pray, laugh, jump, scream. We felt like we could do anything together, like we could never die! And surely, we haven’t died, have we? Here, I am kidding! And maybe we will never, does love ever end?
That evening, we tried to each revisit his ‘self pre-defined life’ and tried all affordable excuses not to be in love but we couldn’t win our hearts. Our mind was at work but our hearts were all that powerful. Love had found its way and we couldn’t stop it.
We declared it. We wore it. We claimed it, closely and openly. And, during that evening’s meals time and general movie watching, everyone could see it; we were in love relationship.
Friends Change! Love Fights Wars!
I and Winnie are social and friendly. We had so many friends, almost all fellow students were friendly. But when we fell in love, things drastically changed!
To some (here I am guessing; I don’t remember any friend who approved our love then), it was a great thing but, to many, it was bad, impossible, horrible; to these many, our love then had to end.
In the days that followed, all we had was an everlasting war, a war against the devil through his people, our friends, the school and hospital’s leadership.
We were hunted, cursed, punished, banned from exercise A to exercise B, abused, and accused! Though we had few months left before completing our courses, it all seemed like an endless period of harassment. We held onto each other and just fought through. We didn’t have anything, but ourselves.
Friends said our love could not last. People said we were unfit for each other. Her friends advised her to dump me; I was poor, non-classic, not smart (though clean), and, yeah didn’t deserve a woman like her. Truly, sometimes, I too would be tempted to believe it. Winnie is this beautiful and amazingly charming that I never believed she was or would be mine. I still get those denial moments! Besides, I had not planned to have a girlfriend, later alone marry before ‘getting rich’.
My friends told me I had a lot to catch up with before hooking to a woman like her; to them, she was too stylish, not womanly (they couldn’t see her cooking, cleaning, listening, humble, praising, playing, praying) and she wasn’t good, maybe religiously or morally (after all, no one knew her church’s name and, the institution being a Catholic one, anyone outside it or not identified with closely known churches or religions like protestants or at least Islam was evil). And, to them, she was, firstly, evil and not a good woman and, secondly (even if she could be good), she wasn’t fit for me. She is or was too much!
God was with us. Our love was strong. In all the days that followed, we held onto each other and fought openly together. We cried together. We went to class together. Read our books together. Did our nursing case books and researches together. Shared food, and all other resources and made sure we pushed and stood for each other amidst a community of hate, hypocrisy, ‘judges’, stalkers, and harassment.
The details of our love and the fights we have had to fight to be here shall be chronicled slowly by slowly in my writings, and, for those who follow me closely, we have already shared some.
When time came, we did our finals (that was in November, 2013) and exited the institution for good!
Many thought that was the end. Some even had confidence to say it to our faces but they were wrong and we were right; no, not us but God, lov!
We exited the school, established our communication channel and said goodbye to each other.
She went home, Bugiri, in the Far East, towards Kenya border. And I went home, Bunagana, Kisoro, the far west, DRC and Rwanda border. We were physically apart but our hearts and souls were close. We kept in touch for long till we met again. Love had kept us safe for each other.
How we kept our love while physically at a distance from each other shall be a story of another day.
Winnie, despite all amazing opportunities around her or even her much better family background, kept up with me, not out of pity or anything less but she had found a true man, richer than anything she ever wanted. And I have kept up with Winnie, loved her to death not because of anything less or pity but the grace in her, the God in us both. We aren’t anything beyond or below God’s love and grace for us. And nothing within us, within her or me, holds us together but love. And love isn’t us; it is God.
I have ever shared with my fellow young men and told them that a woman doesn’t fall for who you are only but also for who you are becoming and or shall be.
Winnie saw a man in me even though I wasn’t then. And I saw a woman in her even when she wasn’t yet. It’s what most miss. The tomorrow. The future.
I can say I have been with Winnie for the past 5 years and she has been an amazing woman this world ever will know. She has surprised many and surpassed the expectations of anyone who ever knew her. Many women of her times admire her and have openly put her up as their role model. She is a woman as a woman should be.
Most of our friends later confessed to us how unbelievable it was to them. Some have confessed their meanness and others have asked for forgiveness in silence. And we have forgiven them all. Most of our old school friends are our great friends and have these testimonies about us and can narrate them better than we do.
They have visited us, eaten with us, slept with us in same house, danced with us, played and prayed with us. And they now know this; love is real and we are a true example.
A good test or evidence of our friends coming back to us was in 2016 when, during our Kukyala, Introductions, and wedding ceremonies, they fully participated with us and celebrated an achievement they never thought was possible. I can surely confess that, without them, we wouldn’t have made it. And we still value this friendship for it is what makes life, community, real and great.
We shall keep sharing and chatting with you all regarding these issues and we hope someone somewhere shall be inspired too. Our lives can only make sense if they inspire others, if they glorify God. To God be the glory, now and forever more. Amen.
Winnie, I love you so so so so much. Good day.
