How to attract what you want instead of chasing after it!

In my inbox, some friends ask me, how can I get a job? How can I win over a girl? How can I attract friends to my side? How can I win the passion and affection of a parent? In other words, how can I attract the success I want instead of chasing after it? Have you ever had similar questions? Well, here is the simple answer: try to be the best! Seriously, there is no better way!

One day, I told you how I won over the heart of my wife, Winnie Nemeyimana even when we had almost nothing physical in common, but just our hearts. But yes, I attracted her to myself and she attracted me to herself. How did we do it? You already know. But for those who still would want to know how to win the heart of the woman you admire, the small E-book: 5 secrets to win any woman’s heart!

The real best and tested way of attracting that which you desire is to “better yourself”. Listen, you won’t win over girls by chasing after them. You win over them by becoming better, successful, hard working and revealing a promising future.

Wait! The concept of ‘getting better’ is misrepresented by motivational speakers who insist on ‘physically and materially getting on the top’. However, to be better simply means ‘humility’. You get better by calming down, appreciating life and the few breaks it offers!

I remember telling you this: Wise women don’t love a man because of necessarily what he CURRENTLY is, but the limitless possibilities and hope they see in that man’s future. What do I mean? You don’t have be best ‘materially and physically’ only but on heart. You need to be humble. That is how I won over Winnie! I wasn’t best in ‘things’, but in heart. I am even afraid of making this confession for it sounds like ‘self-promotion’, which would be dangerous!

So, whenever I talk about the best, I mean the humble; trying to do their best at everything, but with a very humble (‘not proud’) heart.

In the article, action reward philosophy, we agreed that there is no such thing as free or happening without cause, the best things can only go to the best (of course the challenge here is what it means by “the best”). The best way to attract the best things to yourself (a job, a good woman, a friend, good grades, a business, or money) is to become the best yourself. No any other way. 

But wait! Is it a guarantee that the best attracts the best? No! First, life isn’t fair and nobody promised you that! Even the most proud win! Secondly, what if what we call ‘losses’ for the humble ones aren’t actual losses and what we call ‘wins’ for the proud aren’t true wins? Our human limitations don’t allow us to even understand those that are humble or proud!

So do you want a job? Do you want girls to swarm around you? Do you want friends at school to fall for you? Do you want your uncle to start calling you the favorite? Do you want your husband to admire you? Humble yourself! Be the best at whatever you do but, most importantly, with a humble heart.

People love to associate themselves with the most successful, be one! Let person X chase after girls day and night and you chase after success, the girls shall end up passively coming to you. Everyone of us likes or would love to associate with a better person, be that better person. 

I don’t mean you won’t pass around asking for a job. I don’t mean you won’t ‘hunt’ for a woman. I don’t mean you won’t really ask for the promotion. I am not saying you won’t go out and try the business. All I am saying is that it will be easier for you. Most importantly, it will be easy for you to maintain the success. Sometimes, good things come to us and leave us instantly because we aren’t able to keep them.

Yes, I asked Winnie to fly with me. I asked for the job I have now. But it was far easier than if I wasn’t better. And, again, mark the meaning of the word ‘better’; doing the best and with a humble heart.

What is the point? Stop (not literal ‘stop’) chasing after girls, jobs or promotions, love and affection of friends, business success and all forms of desires through that “hard and desperate” way and start working on yourself. Better or best things and people end up in arms of better or best people. I don’t care how that happens, but that’s it! Hard work with a humble heart is really a good deal!

As a Christian, I would love to insist that being the best version of yourself entails in being humble and realizing it is never about your hard work, but Christ in you. You never get better at anything unless God graciously picks you out. You wanna be the best? HUMILITY!