2021 Valentines Day Message: Your Love Relationship isn’t yours, don’t joke with it!
Today is 2021 Valentines Day, and here is our message: Your love relationship isn’t yours, don’t joke with it!
When Winnie’s dad broke the news that the nursing institution she was to join was in Kisoro, she tried to refuse. You can’t blame her. She had never lived there nor did she knew any bit of the language. Travelling from the far East, I mean Bugiri, to the far west (Kisoro), across cities and other favorable nursing institutions wasn’t fathomable. And she couldn’t see how she could ever manage such a college life, in a far and foreign land!
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However, dad insisted! Even after securing another option, Jinja nursing school, Mzee insisted that his beloved child would have to study from Kisoro. Left with no choice, the young girl, with the help of her mother, packed her bags, and, with her own dad’s accompany travelled to the land of many hills, the Switzerland of Africa, the coldest part of Uganda, Kisoro! Unknown to her and all of us, God had pre-planned that she would meet me, the most handsome man of the land. And, together, we would become friends, great Valentines!
Wait! That isn’t the only time when everything else seemed to oppose our hook-up, and only God’s will triumphed! If you have followed our love story, you already know what tougher times we went through after we declared our love. And that was just the beginning. The real time for trouble, and consequent God’s mighty hand was after we had finished college, in 2014.
First, when we finished college (2013), Winnie went back home, the far East. And I went back home, the far west! In 2014, though Facebook and WhatsApp were already present, we weren’t magical ourselves, at least not enough to fully use the tools to spice up our then long distance relationship. Of course, we did our best, especially with Facebook, Gmail, and direct texts and calls, but many opportunities for us to separate and lose each other were still available, and strong.
READ THIS TOO: Our 2019 Marriage Anniversary Message
Remember, we were real poor! I couldn’t even afford 500UGX for airtime to be able to use the old phone my sister, Sitera, had given me when I finished college! Luckily, on the other hand, Winnie would try to always ‘steal’ away 500UGX airtime when doing her mother’s home shopping. Anyway, the point is, we were really physically far away from each other and had all the chances to break-up, finish off what we had started. And yet, by God’s grace, we managed to stay put, simply because the relationship wasn’t necessarily for and about us, but God!
When I left home to search for jobs, I would later be able to find Winnie wherever she was or she would be able to find me. But there was another complication!
My studying had been on scholarship contract with weird terms and conditions. The terms of the contract dictated that, for the first 3 years after college, I would have to work in low-resource and hard-to-reach district, most probably Kisoro. That meant that I would have to keep away from Winnie for 3 years. Fortunately, by God’s foreordained plan and grace, the terms changed, and it only happened with our 2013 set; it had never happened for those who studied on the scholarship before! The Ministry of Health, instead of sending us back to our hard-to-reach areas, abruptly made changes, and said that we (those who had been on contract) should go to Mulago National Referral Hospital to cover up for the shortage! Another goal scored. Instead of living in Kisoro and Winnie in Bugiri or elsewhere, I was to live in Kampala, a little closer to wherever Winnie would be! And this wasn’t even the ‘coolest’ part!
READ THIS TOO: 2018 Valentine’s Day Message
Winnie wasn’t on contract. She had been paid for by her parents. Her life wasn’t bound by the contract’s terms. And yet when I said to the Ministry of Health that I had a fiancée or girlfriend who needed a job as well, the person in charge, without further questions and complications, immediately called for her, looked into her papers, and signed her off to Mulago National Referral Hospital. Do you get this? Winnie and I got re-united magically!
Winnie and I could again physically be close; similar professions, same institution. It seems that whenever circumstances called for our separation, God always caused instant changes (according to his foreordained plan) to keep us together. This is or was so because it isn’t or wasn’t about us, but Him.
Even with this closeness, there were many other challenges that could have kept us apart, including the financial struggles we had to face in the new Kampala life, the inability to meet our wedding requirements, and much more. And yet, for every opportunity for us to separate, God provided a way of escape, a way of continuing our love. Our Kukyala (2015), Introduction (2016), and Wedding (2016) ceremonies consistently proved to us that God was at work, making everything possible for our relationship, not for us, but for Himself! Details of how everything happened tells only one message; God was in control! We were young, financially and socially weak, new in Kampala, and new in the biggest hospital in the country, and yet, by God’s grace, we pulled it off! Our love relationships isn’t ours, but God’s!
The 2021 Valentines Day Message: Your Relationship isn’t yours, don’t joke with it!
The point of our story is that when we view our marriage or love relationships as God’s own arrangement, we stop taking them for granted! When we realize that our wives or girlfriends and boyfriends aren’t just the people we can discard and pick up at any time of our choice, we start enjoying our relationships with care! I am sorry that I surely have not been this careful with the relationship God blessed me with. And I pray to do better.
On this 2021 Valentines day, I want to kindly ask you to stop taking your friend, your fiancée, your boyfriend, your husband or wife for granted. STOP IT! Stop looking at your partner as someone you can dispose off at your own choosing and time. STOP IT! Your relationship is about or should be about something more, bigger, and better than just you both. So, with meekness and carefulness, let us enjoy these relationships.
Personally, I have done so many mistakes in our relationship. And I am so sorry. Oh how I wish I can turn back the wheel of time! I thank God I am still here, and she is here with me. May I use every opportunity to care and celebrate our relationship.
In our today’s 2021 Valentines Day love letters, I and Winnie acknowledged that we betray God’s trust in us when we don’t play it cool. We assume to own ourselves when we hurt each other. We assume to be solely responsible for our love when we disrespect it. As sole owners, we think we can build or destroy it when we want. However, these are lies. And when we ever try at it, we only hurt ourselves.
Our love relationship isn’t about and for us, but for God’s glory. With this insight, we should work hard to keep it pure, relevant, rewarding, and beautiful. Oh God, we, I mean, I am sorry I haven’t lived up to this enough, and I, I mean, we pray that you help us get better at loving each other, not for our good and convenience, but for your Glory, oh God! In the name of Jesus. Amen.